In the promising bright light of day

My face is soft

And young

Look at you with Bright eyes

Head up high, wide smile.

In the hard light of the evening

After carrying the smile all day

The truth comes out.

In that hard light

You can see all the heavy years

Staring back at you on my face.


I love some of the people in my life

But I have changed in ways they don’t understand

And they’ve changed in ways that I don’t know.

We sit and talk about who we used to be

Neither of us sure how to address this person before us.

Once we were so close,

We were wounded and unwell but close.

Now, we’re healed, heathy and strong

And a million miles apart

When in the same room.

So happy for who you are

But miss you so much at the same time.


The constant tension in my bones has become a low hum and is the background noise to my existence. It is a tension that is recognized by those around me, by those who know me well. It’s like they know that there is something lurking just beneath the surface, they’re terrified by what might break the waves when something disturbs the water.

They are always watching cautiously.