Too Big To Fail

I slipped away

and no one noticed.

I called out to you

all of you

standing on the edge of the inky blackness

of the turbulent ocean.

You all smiled and waved

assured me of my safety.

Told me my strength would save me.

Told me to have hope.

And then I slipped

Slowly sliding into the waves

I reached out and cried for help

The imminent darkness and danger crashing over me.

You all could not help.

Faces turned away or

Looking at me in distinct disbelief of the situation.

But I’m so strong? How did this happen? This can’t be true

This titan cannot fail.

And there she went

crumbling to the waves

leaving one hand out for rescue while she slipped under.

No one came for me.

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After the Cut

Somehow it’s different now.

I hold you in a different place

The glass we stand on

is even and smooth

even if fragile as hell.

I’m no longer holding a dagger

deep into your side

making sure you need me to nurse you

as you bleed out.

The knife is down.

You’re separate now.

Over there

Your problems are yours

life is yours

drama is yours.

You and your mess are not for me to keep.

No longer to hold you down.

Now we are equal.

This is respect.

Poison in the Dark

I sit in the

Sickening Anticipation

The knots and nervousness and

Waves of death

Wafting in my soul and washing my heart.

All we are is poison

Sick, twisted

Dark.

We use and twist and turn each other.

Use each other up, and keep each other down.

Like two sick trees trying to grow apart

But whose rotten roots are twined together.

We poison each other

And call it love.

Our sickness is in the heart

And it’s fed off the sadness

And Desperation

Of the other.

I wait

Ax in hand.

Taking a deep breath before the cut.

This will hurt.

Are you ready?

Glass

i must be slick like glass

i must be smooth and hard to hang on to

i always seem to slip through 

slip through hands and 

slip through the minds of people.

i must have slipped your 

your mind 

you heart

your life.

I’m hard to handle 

hard to love 

hard to remember.

perhaps I’m too available 

or perhaps not enough.

I’ll never know 

you forgot to tell me.

must have slipped your mind

Quote

Brokenness in Time

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I watch in dismay
As this endless moment passes.
It clings and moves on slowly
Painfully dragging its jagged feet
Wrecking the floor and dragging things along with it
Out the door.
It takes things that do not belong to it
My confidence
My security
My trust
It takes things it doesn’t even want from me.
My love
My attention
My time.
This never ending moment
Like waiting for the knife in my side to cease it’s twisting.
It will hang sharp in the air
Puncturing my breath
Lumping in my throat
Running like rivers down my cheeks.
My sadness will leave pools of despair
And longing at my feet.
The moment leaves those,
Just for me.

Trying To Copy Impossible

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How to truly capture something wild
Something beautiful
On a simple piece of paper.
Can it really be done?
Do these facsimiles we call art
Do any justice
To the passions
The wiles
The crests and valleys
The curves, dips and points
Of what we hope to emulate?
All I can do is show you
My facsimile of beauty.
I hope you find it reasonable.

Fluffy Perception

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I numb it all down
Soften the edges and
Fluff the middle.
The entire world becomes an orb
Soft and glowing
Fuzzy and gentle.
It can’t hurt me this way.
I change it all,
The entire place
Becomes warm and inviting
Tender and sweet
Harmless and kind.
It’s all a bit blurry
It’s all a little hard to see
But when you slip into the numb
Gently falling into the
Caress of the earth
Wrapping yourself in the comfort
Of this shortsightedness
This inability to see
And differentiate
You gladly sacrifice wit
For the ability to relax
And finally sleep.