Too Big To Fail

I slipped away

and no one noticed.

I called out to you

all of you

standing on the edge of the inky blackness

of the turbulent ocean.

You all smiled and waved

assured me of my safety.

Told me my strength would save me.

Told me to have hope.

And then I slipped

Slowly sliding into the waves

I reached out and cried for help

The imminent darkness and danger crashing over me.

You all could not help.

Faces turned away or

Looking at me in distinct disbelief of the situation.

But I’m so strong? How did this happen? This can’t be true

This titan cannot fail.

And there she went

crumbling to the waves

leaving one hand out for rescue while she slipped under.

No one came for me.

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Brokenness in Time

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I watch in dismay
As this endless moment passes.
It clings and moves on slowly
Painfully dragging its jagged feet
Wrecking the floor and dragging things along with it
Out the door.
It takes things that do not belong to it
My confidence
My security
My trust
It takes things it doesn’t even want from me.
My love
My attention
My time.
This never ending moment
Like waiting for the knife in my side to cease it’s twisting.
It will hang sharp in the air
Puncturing my breath
Lumping in my throat
Running like rivers down my cheeks.
My sadness will leave pools of despair
And longing at my feet.
The moment leaves those,
Just for me.

Trying To Copy Impossible

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How to truly capture something wild
Something beautiful
On a simple piece of paper.
Can it really be done?
Do these facsimiles we call art
Do any justice
To the passions
The wiles
The crests and valleys
The curves, dips and points
Of what we hope to emulate?
All I can do is show you
My facsimile of beauty.
I hope you find it reasonable.

Off We Go!

to the sun

to the sun

I’m a dreamer.

I catch myself and tie myself back down

A dozen times a day.

I float off for a bit

Imagining what I will write

What I will draw

What I will paint

What picture I will take

What I will create

What I will do

Then I am rudely planted

Back in my chair.

Back in my office

Surrounded by things to accomplish

And no drive to accomplish them.

In the middle of my tasks

I just detach and am off again

Out the window

Towards the sun.

In my mind, I can do anything.

I can write a story

Write my life

Write yours

Change your viewpoint

Change the world!

But in reality,

I have to do these few things first…

Day Soft as Water

Secret Morning

Secret Morning

Water like glass

Sun high in the sky

Bright overhead watching all.

Soft breeze caress my face

Tousles my hair

Gentle nudge of the day.

Clouds pile high

Fluff on fluff

Mighty casting shadows

Backlight like golden edges

Rays of the sun power around but not through

Their bright, perfect white

Contrasting the sky.

Perfect blue and powder puffs

Mirror in the water

Still and smooth

All is soft and gentle

Caressing my soul

Assuring my being

Taking away the world.

All I need is this moment.

There is no before and no after.

All I have and need is right here.

Sitting in my smallness

In the great big world.

The present is the greatest gift.

I open and relish in it.

Smile Harder

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Today I hid the pain behind a smile

I kept polite conversation

and laughter

As the Lightning Bolt of burning

Excruciation

Shot down my leg.

Hips on Fire

Slowed the time and kept

Full attention as I struggled to

Keep face.

Electric embers pulsing through my core

Testing my strength and tact.

The tears welled up in frustration

“not yet, not just yet” quiet lull to myself.

The screams of pain in my head, louder than any conversation

“Oh Dear God Stop It!! I can’t take anymore, Save Me!!”

But you will never know.

I will look at you, and calmly, albeit weakly, will simply say

“It’s just a bit of a bad day”.

No one wants to hear you’re being

Seared from the inside out.

 

 

Greater than your thoughts

Sunset in Upper Michigan

I don’t express myself with concern to your feelings and how you will view me. I simply want to express who I am. I will rise above preconceived notions of me and surpass your lowered expectations beyond your wildest dreams. I will not be contained to your ideas. I will not be held down by pain or kept back by exhaustion. It is my life, I know what I am going through and I know how to overcome it. Nothing will hold me back, I will be unstoppable.